With many people posting about "This is Us" and talking about it, I figured I would watch an episode after the fact, to determine whether it was worth my time. The intimacy between Jack and Rebecca as witnessed in her dance for her husband on his birthday, while he is in his "birthday suit" and she is in the ninth month of her pregnancy, was real in ways we may not want to admit. His eyes of love toward the woman he thinks is beautiful even though she thinks she is unattractive in her big, unfamiliar body, says a lot about their marriage. It says a lot about mine, too.
Watching a woman in labor will always remind those of us who were once in that condition the intensity of the experience, yet this storyline was even more familiar to me.
What many of you may not know is that I had a wonderful doctor in Colorado while pregnant with my first child, was comforted in knowing he had delivered something like 2,000 babies, and looked forward to seeing his long, gray pony-tail and his well-worn tanned face, always smiling at me, putting me at ease with his stories about drinking vodka and taking trips to the nude beaches of Bali.
Though my pregnancy had gone well, the baby had not turned when he ought to have. "Ignats," as the doctor nick-named him, was showing himself to be strong-willed. His head lodged itself into my rib cage and it was determined he was a footling breach, one leg down, and would have to be delivered by a scheduled cesarian section. My doctor kept me calm, telling me that I was lovely, and reassuring me that when the time came, he would be with me and all would be well.
In "This is Us," Rebecca is carrying triplets, which is far more risky than trying to birth just one. She is fine . . . until she is introduced to the doctor who will now be guiding her through some of the most important hours of her life. Her panic was relatable, as my experience was somewhat similar.
My water had broken during the night and as I waited for the labor pains to begin, fell asleep. In the morning I realized nothing was happening but figured we had better get to the hospital, just in case. As soon as I was ready, a doctor I had never seen before came to introduce himself to me as panic was the only thing I could feel. I needed my doctor. He knew me. He would know what I would need to get through this. But his friend had a heart-attack and I would not see my doctor until the next day when he would run into my room, pony-tail flying, apologizing profusely.
As I am being monitored, I suddenly see the faces of those attending to me change from expressions of kindness to horror. The next thing I know, I am being placed hastily on a cart as those assisting are running me down the hall toward the operating room. I see the lights flash by quickly overhead like I'm on a train and all I can think is, "This cannot be happening--dear God, no."
In my case, though my baby was in distress with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, he was not oxygen deprived and was delivered in minutes. Though numbed from the waist down, an experience I hope to never have again, I eventually recovered and would only have to endure one more difficult birth until my third one, in which it took no drugs and exactly six pushes.
Rebecca, however, goes into distress and one of the three babies dies. Though I never lost a baby that had come nearly full-term, I did lose one early on in my second pregnancy. There is no loss more difficult for a mother, I am convinced.
Jack, trying to cope with the loss of the third child, decides they need to adopt a child who was abandoned and brought to the hospital. Love is color-blind and they willingly raise a black child as though he is a biological offspring. Themes of adoption, racism, sibling rivalry, bullying, and a family trying to make it through each day are handled with hope and a subtle humor. It is difficult for me to become engaged with shows or movies in which I do not like the characters. In "This is Us" I am hard-pressed to identify a character for which I am not ultimately rooting. I love these people.
The way the show goes from present day with the "triplets" grown with their own lives to flashbacks of their growing up years is a seamless transition and gives one so much insight into their characters. Kevin, feeling like a failure, even with some success at acting but not so much with relationships, figures out that family needs to come before work. Randall, who seems to succeed at pretty much everything, also realizes family needs to come before work. Kate, dealing with her body image, comes to the same conclusion and allows herself to trust someone enough to believe she can have a relationship. Growing up in the same family, their issues are different, yet somehow the same.
The way the last episode ended this first season is heart-breaking as we have known from early in the season that at some point Jack's life ends. The brief funeral scene has the children as teenagers and with the track we seemed to be on, it was imminent. And yet there was still time for a huge fight between Jack and Rebecca, the kind no married person ever wants to have because the truth is spoken and yet not the whole truth.
The truth is though there is nothing more fulfilling in life than a good marriage and raising children, if one does that and only that, the contributions to the family and to the marriage will be limited. We all need to nurture our creative gifts whether they are music, writing, accomplishing goals in sports or even making things and finding new ways to put them together. We need to develop ourselves in all of the ways we can.
I can relate to Rebecca's need to use her gift and yet I can also appreciate Jack's anger that he has not become her all in all. No one person can become everything for any other person. We need the village to raise our children and need to remain in that community to grow and flourish ourselves. We need to have times of rest and times of work. Times when we can do nothing but shut ourselves up in a room because the words need to find a way out to breathe and times when all we want to do is watch a silly movie with our family.
Though I thankfully cannot relate to needing a separation due to unresolved issues, the part that got to me the most was when Jack told Rebecca on his way out the door that she was still the most beautiful woman in any room, as my husband has shared that sentiment with me.
It makes me sad that this profound moment may be the last this couple shares in this show that has gotten my attention and touched my heart in deeper ways than most television shows ever go. But this in many ways is "reality" tv. We do not know how many days we have to live, to love, to share our hearts with those around us. We can only do the best we can with what we are given. I look forward to "This is Us" giving us all just a little bit more.
Watching a woman in labor will always remind those of us who were once in that condition the intensity of the experience, yet this storyline was even more familiar to me.
What many of you may not know is that I had a wonderful doctor in Colorado while pregnant with my first child, was comforted in knowing he had delivered something like 2,000 babies, and looked forward to seeing his long, gray pony-tail and his well-worn tanned face, always smiling at me, putting me at ease with his stories about drinking vodka and taking trips to the nude beaches of Bali.
Though my pregnancy had gone well, the baby had not turned when he ought to have. "Ignats," as the doctor nick-named him, was showing himself to be strong-willed. His head lodged itself into my rib cage and it was determined he was a footling breach, one leg down, and would have to be delivered by a scheduled cesarian section. My doctor kept me calm, telling me that I was lovely, and reassuring me that when the time came, he would be with me and all would be well.
In "This is Us," Rebecca is carrying triplets, which is far more risky than trying to birth just one. She is fine . . . until she is introduced to the doctor who will now be guiding her through some of the most important hours of her life. Her panic was relatable, as my experience was somewhat similar.
My water had broken during the night and as I waited for the labor pains to begin, fell asleep. In the morning I realized nothing was happening but figured we had better get to the hospital, just in case. As soon as I was ready, a doctor I had never seen before came to introduce himself to me as panic was the only thing I could feel. I needed my doctor. He knew me. He would know what I would need to get through this. But his friend had a heart-attack and I would not see my doctor until the next day when he would run into my room, pony-tail flying, apologizing profusely.
As I am being monitored, I suddenly see the faces of those attending to me change from expressions of kindness to horror. The next thing I know, I am being placed hastily on a cart as those assisting are running me down the hall toward the operating room. I see the lights flash by quickly overhead like I'm on a train and all I can think is, "This cannot be happening--dear God, no."
In my case, though my baby was in distress with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, he was not oxygen deprived and was delivered in minutes. Though numbed from the waist down, an experience I hope to never have again, I eventually recovered and would only have to endure one more difficult birth until my third one, in which it took no drugs and exactly six pushes.
Rebecca, however, goes into distress and one of the three babies dies. Though I never lost a baby that had come nearly full-term, I did lose one early on in my second pregnancy. There is no loss more difficult for a mother, I am convinced.
Jack, trying to cope with the loss of the third child, decides they need to adopt a child who was abandoned and brought to the hospital. Love is color-blind and they willingly raise a black child as though he is a biological offspring. Themes of adoption, racism, sibling rivalry, bullying, and a family trying to make it through each day are handled with hope and a subtle humor. It is difficult for me to become engaged with shows or movies in which I do not like the characters. In "This is Us" I am hard-pressed to identify a character for which I am not ultimately rooting. I love these people.
The way the show goes from present day with the "triplets" grown with their own lives to flashbacks of their growing up years is a seamless transition and gives one so much insight into their characters. Kevin, feeling like a failure, even with some success at acting but not so much with relationships, figures out that family needs to come before work. Randall, who seems to succeed at pretty much everything, also realizes family needs to come before work. Kate, dealing with her body image, comes to the same conclusion and allows herself to trust someone enough to believe she can have a relationship. Growing up in the same family, their issues are different, yet somehow the same.
The way the last episode ended this first season is heart-breaking as we have known from early in the season that at some point Jack's life ends. The brief funeral scene has the children as teenagers and with the track we seemed to be on, it was imminent. And yet there was still time for a huge fight between Jack and Rebecca, the kind no married person ever wants to have because the truth is spoken and yet not the whole truth.
The truth is though there is nothing more fulfilling in life than a good marriage and raising children, if one does that and only that, the contributions to the family and to the marriage will be limited. We all need to nurture our creative gifts whether they are music, writing, accomplishing goals in sports or even making things and finding new ways to put them together. We need to develop ourselves in all of the ways we can.
I can relate to Rebecca's need to use her gift and yet I can also appreciate Jack's anger that he has not become her all in all. No one person can become everything for any other person. We need the village to raise our children and need to remain in that community to grow and flourish ourselves. We need to have times of rest and times of work. Times when we can do nothing but shut ourselves up in a room because the words need to find a way out to breathe and times when all we want to do is watch a silly movie with our family.
Though I thankfully cannot relate to needing a separation due to unresolved issues, the part that got to me the most was when Jack told Rebecca on his way out the door that she was still the most beautiful woman in any room, as my husband has shared that sentiment with me.
It makes me sad that this profound moment may be the last this couple shares in this show that has gotten my attention and touched my heart in deeper ways than most television shows ever go. But this in many ways is "reality" tv. We do not know how many days we have to live, to love, to share our hearts with those around us. We can only do the best we can with what we are given. I look forward to "This is Us" giving us all just a little bit more.
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