There are unwritten rules about prayer requests.
1. It apparently is considered bad form to ask for prayer for yourself.
During a time of compromised health when I was not sleeping--at all--I asked for prayer to get a good night of sleep. It had seriously been like three days straight since I had slept and I had always heard hallucinations followed by death would happen next if I did not get any sleep soon. With eyes closed and heads bowed, someone in the room laughed shortly after I voiced my request. Though I took offense at the time, I prefer to pretend that the person was not paying attention to me and laughing at something else, which though offensive, is not nearly as bad.
2. A prayer request must be for someone dying or the family of the one at death's doorway.
I do not mean to sound insensitive, but I wonder what it is exactly we are praying for sometimes. Are we asking for a miraculous healing? What if the person is elderly and has been deteriorating for a long time? Is it even kind to ask that his or her life be prolonged in the midst of suffering? It makes more sense to pray for the family who is adjusting to the inevitable processes played out in front of them. But aren't we actually praying that all will find peace? Isn't the peace in question here the peace one can obtain from a relationship with the Almighty? Don't we just want everyone to be ok with whatever it is they are up against today?
3. Once the prayer request is offered, it is then your duty to give regular updates.
Well, it all depends . . . on whether or not anyone remembers what you said in the first place. Maybe they are still making jokes and not paying attention. You never know.
Updates are difficult to make if you have absolutely no medical training. I went to graduate school. I am an intelligent and educated person. And yet, when I have to attempt to explain medical procedures using actual medical terminology and sound more advanced than a preschooler, it is challenging. Once biological systems are explored, faith enters in. The patient's body is falling apart in such-and-such a way but God is the Great Physician. Healing is possible but . . . . It is not based on how much faith we have. It is based on God's plan, as He is in control and not us.
4. Prayer requests are subject to all sorts of commentary.
One of the reasons I generally do not share prayer requests of a personal nature, (because I have learned my lesson from that person who is still laughing) or about something serious is because the whole scenario can turn into something I never saw coming. My words can evoke strong emotion in someone who then feels the need to project how she would have handled it. The idea of it can cause another to remember how she felt when going through it with a loved one. It can be shocking for some. It can bring unwanted grief to an otherwise lovely sunny day.
But there is a bigger reason I often do not share my stuff and that is because there is history, stories that would explain a thing or two about life--my life. Stories that would not make sense to someone who has never walked a mile in my Birkenstocks. Stories that may be misinterpreted by someone who cannot receive the truth of some of these tales of woe because they are too hard. Stories I cannot give an adequate telling for because I will be sued and will instead need to turn them into fiction stories for children with symbolic endings that could be taken in a number of different ways. Or maybe I could team up with an independent film maker and create a movie that could become a cult classic for those who enjoy dark twisted tales of intrigue in which the main character is pitied yet loved, misunderstood but in the end everyone is holding hands having a good cathartic cry.
I cannot be responsible for any of this. If I ask you to pray--pray. Don't ask--unless you want to, and then, only if you promise to let me tell you the truth. Or at least as much truth as I think you can take.
I like the Quaker idea of "holding someone in the Light." If we can gently and compassionately do that, we will have done a beautiful thing.
1. It apparently is considered bad form to ask for prayer for yourself.
During a time of compromised health when I was not sleeping--at all--I asked for prayer to get a good night of sleep. It had seriously been like three days straight since I had slept and I had always heard hallucinations followed by death would happen next if I did not get any sleep soon. With eyes closed and heads bowed, someone in the room laughed shortly after I voiced my request. Though I took offense at the time, I prefer to pretend that the person was not paying attention to me and laughing at something else, which though offensive, is not nearly as bad.
2. A prayer request must be for someone dying or the family of the one at death's doorway.
I do not mean to sound insensitive, but I wonder what it is exactly we are praying for sometimes. Are we asking for a miraculous healing? What if the person is elderly and has been deteriorating for a long time? Is it even kind to ask that his or her life be prolonged in the midst of suffering? It makes more sense to pray for the family who is adjusting to the inevitable processes played out in front of them. But aren't we actually praying that all will find peace? Isn't the peace in question here the peace one can obtain from a relationship with the Almighty? Don't we just want everyone to be ok with whatever it is they are up against today?
3. Once the prayer request is offered, it is then your duty to give regular updates.
Well, it all depends . . . on whether or not anyone remembers what you said in the first place. Maybe they are still making jokes and not paying attention. You never know.
Updates are difficult to make if you have absolutely no medical training. I went to graduate school. I am an intelligent and educated person. And yet, when I have to attempt to explain medical procedures using actual medical terminology and sound more advanced than a preschooler, it is challenging. Once biological systems are explored, faith enters in. The patient's body is falling apart in such-and-such a way but God is the Great Physician. Healing is possible but . . . . It is not based on how much faith we have. It is based on God's plan, as He is in control and not us.
4. Prayer requests are subject to all sorts of commentary.
One of the reasons I generally do not share prayer requests of a personal nature, (because I have learned my lesson from that person who is still laughing) or about something serious is because the whole scenario can turn into something I never saw coming. My words can evoke strong emotion in someone who then feels the need to project how she would have handled it. The idea of it can cause another to remember how she felt when going through it with a loved one. It can be shocking for some. It can bring unwanted grief to an otherwise lovely sunny day.
But there is a bigger reason I often do not share my stuff and that is because there is history, stories that would explain a thing or two about life--my life. Stories that would not make sense to someone who has never walked a mile in my Birkenstocks. Stories that may be misinterpreted by someone who cannot receive the truth of some of these tales of woe because they are too hard. Stories I cannot give an adequate telling for because I will be sued and will instead need to turn them into fiction stories for children with symbolic endings that could be taken in a number of different ways. Or maybe I could team up with an independent film maker and create a movie that could become a cult classic for those who enjoy dark twisted tales of intrigue in which the main character is pitied yet loved, misunderstood but in the end everyone is holding hands having a good cathartic cry.
I cannot be responsible for any of this. If I ask you to pray--pray. Don't ask--unless you want to, and then, only if you promise to let me tell you the truth. Or at least as much truth as I think you can take.
I like the Quaker idea of "holding someone in the Light." If we can gently and compassionately do that, we will have done a beautiful thing.
