A blog intensifying the flavor of life and toasting those who share in the feast, rather than settling for a dry, plain, melba toast existence.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

right now

An after-holiday hush has settled over the house as I look around, contemplating what came before, and what comes next.

Behind me, in my work area, is a rather large unruly pile of unsold pillows and fabric, next to the clothing rack containing three new items I was able to purchase for seventy percent off from a failed department store. Below are bins of fabric scraps, fiberfill for stuffing pillows, and next to the closet is a rather large wicker basket with partial bolts of cloth along with wallpaper and wrapping paper. A small table is covered with the remnants of a put-together shelving unit that I have replaced with a better system, though having no idea yet where to place all of the bits and pieces it contains.

Cut out are the ornaments that never got made; garlands I never stitched the words "merry and bright" on. My ideas always overwhelm my schedule. Time is a strict task master. Once the deadline for a seasonal item has passed, it will not come around again for another year. Well-meaning friends suggest that I begin to work on these items sooner. They are right, though my natural proclivity is to procrastinate.

Possibilities loom. A gift card was spent in the ordering of yet another shelving system for the other wall. Floor to ceiling on every side will the raw materials await a spark of creativity that will render them beautiful. Placed in their baskets and jars will buttons, thread, wire and all miscellaneous materials dwell until they are called forth. My mind spins. So much work ahead. So many hours to disappear in the process of creating. I look forward to falling back down the rabbit hole and losing myself in my own wonderland.

It is here that I pause.

As I warm my hands on a snowman mug of hot coffee, I savor this moment. Right here. Right now.

Looking back is never wise for me unless I am recalling a lesson I learned so I do not repeat it, or to remind myself that I am in fact still loved by God. I will want to account for the choices I have made to decide whether to head in a different direction. I will need to take a good long look at how things went before starting something new.

Anticipating the future often causes me more stress than it is worth as I do not possess a natural optimism. I often do not expect things to turn out well which probably has more to do with looking back than it does in moving forward. We tell ourselves not to have expectations. I still wonder how that works as I expect so many things both great and small on any given day.

The challenge as ever is simply to BE. Be careful. Be creative. Be happy. Be at peace. Be well. Be yourself. Be still.

A look behind. A glance forward. A steady gaze out my window at the albino squirrels chasing each other around a tree. Grateful to be here, I wait for inspiration to awaken.


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