A friend stopped by to see me while I was selling my wares at our local farmers' market on Saturday. Though I get a lot of sewing done while I sit behind my table, when I am not reading, of course, I am open to conversation whenever it comes my way--with vendors at nearby tables, curious passersby, and especially friends.
This particular friend wanted me to know of her intentionality to see me, as she shared a sad story of how she kept putting off seeing another friend until one day she was told of that friend's death. We are only middle-aged. Our friends are not supposed to be dying yet, but sometimes they do. This friend of hers had run a store and every time my friend would pass it, she would make that mental note: I'll stop next time. When there is no next time, it makes one realize that if there is a second chance, take it.
Friendship does not require as much as some may think. A few well-chosen words, a smile, a warm embrace, are enough to move a stranger toward the friendship category. There are, of course, acquaintances: those to whom we express the pleasantries of the day by remarking how beautiful the weather is, but unless an effort is made to break through into a more intimate exchange of information, a smile and a nod may be as far as it goes.
Taking the time for someone is to show that person respect. It is to say--I care about you, tell me what is going on. It does not require a great deal of time or money. The visits can be short and not terribly emotional or even that deep. When someone wants to take the time for another it can be as simple as having a cup of coffee together, sitting in chairs talking, taking a walk, even emailing or texting can create a little closeness in the midst of the busyness of life. I value my time, what precious little of it there is. Therefore, when I give it up for someone I care about, I show that person that he or she matters to me.
Taking the time to reconnect with someone is easier said than done. We all have schedules, deadlines and more work than we ever seem to have time to accomplish. Though we may desire to get together with friends, this idea takes its place in a long line of necessary ways to spend a day. A friend asked me recently if I ever had a conversation on the phone anymore. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I have never enjoyed speaking on the phone so I do not miss it, but no, like my busy friend, we are fortunate if we can answer an email or a text. We do not have the luxury of talking on the phone, unless we are already doing something else.
I have walked into a nursing home a couple of times recently to visit the relative of a friend. I was told she would not know me, but she never really knew me to begin with so it does not make a difference. She answers questions I do not ask and makes statements that do not make sense to me but does so with a smile and a sweetness of demeanor. She was once a brilliant, beautiful woman, I am quite certain, and though it is terrible watching someone deteriorate, this is the way she will live out her days until she goes on to glory, and there is nothing anyone can do about that. Giving her a few minutes of time here and there is all that is left to do.
Lord of the Rings readers will remember Gandalf's comforting words to Frodo, who was expressing regret over what had happened. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." We make the best decisions we can at the time, never knowing what the future will hold. Taking the time to do a kind gesture for someone is its own reward. There are no promises, no regrets--only choices.
As I went down my mental checklist the other day to try to remember everything I needed to do, I suddenly became aware of my mother's upcoming surgery and realized I had not called her, the one phone call I still make somewhat regularly. By the time I got around to it she and my dad were in the car on the way to the hospital. I was relieved that I had not missed the opportunity to spend a few moments talking with her about her health issues and reasons for medical intervention. She would talk until they reached the rest area, reminding me that her recovery may be long and she will not be able to talk for awhile. By the time we said good-bye I was already placing her in the doctor's care and into God's hands.
It is that way with me every time someone leaves this house. It is my practice to walk to the back steps and wave good-bye. In case anything keeps them from returning home, I need to know that there was a little bit of closure. I am even like that at work. I start my day with greetings and end with brief farewells. It is important for me to take the time to manage my life in this way. It is more intentional even though we are not in control of the outcome.
The friend who came to the market to see me bought a little pillow I had made with the letters l-o-v-e sewn on it from a scrap of red taffeta. I remember thinking that fabric would have made a great retro prom dress. The other fabric used for the pillow was found on a bolt at the Salvation Army and has sparkling birds among its designs. It looks like it would upholster something--maybe a small chair. My friend said it would match her bedroom. I think it matched what was going on in her heart.
This particular friend wanted me to know of her intentionality to see me, as she shared a sad story of how she kept putting off seeing another friend until one day she was told of that friend's death. We are only middle-aged. Our friends are not supposed to be dying yet, but sometimes they do. This friend of hers had run a store and every time my friend would pass it, she would make that mental note: I'll stop next time. When there is no next time, it makes one realize that if there is a second chance, take it.
Friendship does not require as much as some may think. A few well-chosen words, a smile, a warm embrace, are enough to move a stranger toward the friendship category. There are, of course, acquaintances: those to whom we express the pleasantries of the day by remarking how beautiful the weather is, but unless an effort is made to break through into a more intimate exchange of information, a smile and a nod may be as far as it goes.
Taking the time for someone is to show that person respect. It is to say--I care about you, tell me what is going on. It does not require a great deal of time or money. The visits can be short and not terribly emotional or even that deep. When someone wants to take the time for another it can be as simple as having a cup of coffee together, sitting in chairs talking, taking a walk, even emailing or texting can create a little closeness in the midst of the busyness of life. I value my time, what precious little of it there is. Therefore, when I give it up for someone I care about, I show that person that he or she matters to me.
Taking the time to reconnect with someone is easier said than done. We all have schedules, deadlines and more work than we ever seem to have time to accomplish. Though we may desire to get together with friends, this idea takes its place in a long line of necessary ways to spend a day. A friend asked me recently if I ever had a conversation on the phone anymore. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I have never enjoyed speaking on the phone so I do not miss it, but no, like my busy friend, we are fortunate if we can answer an email or a text. We do not have the luxury of talking on the phone, unless we are already doing something else.
I have walked into a nursing home a couple of times recently to visit the relative of a friend. I was told she would not know me, but she never really knew me to begin with so it does not make a difference. She answers questions I do not ask and makes statements that do not make sense to me but does so with a smile and a sweetness of demeanor. She was once a brilliant, beautiful woman, I am quite certain, and though it is terrible watching someone deteriorate, this is the way she will live out her days until she goes on to glory, and there is nothing anyone can do about that. Giving her a few minutes of time here and there is all that is left to do.
Lord of the Rings readers will remember Gandalf's comforting words to Frodo, who was expressing regret over what had happened. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." We make the best decisions we can at the time, never knowing what the future will hold. Taking the time to do a kind gesture for someone is its own reward. There are no promises, no regrets--only choices.
As I went down my mental checklist the other day to try to remember everything I needed to do, I suddenly became aware of my mother's upcoming surgery and realized I had not called her, the one phone call I still make somewhat regularly. By the time I got around to it she and my dad were in the car on the way to the hospital. I was relieved that I had not missed the opportunity to spend a few moments talking with her about her health issues and reasons for medical intervention. She would talk until they reached the rest area, reminding me that her recovery may be long and she will not be able to talk for awhile. By the time we said good-bye I was already placing her in the doctor's care and into God's hands.
It is that way with me every time someone leaves this house. It is my practice to walk to the back steps and wave good-bye. In case anything keeps them from returning home, I need to know that there was a little bit of closure. I am even like that at work. I start my day with greetings and end with brief farewells. It is important for me to take the time to manage my life in this way. It is more intentional even though we are not in control of the outcome.
The friend who came to the market to see me bought a little pillow I had made with the letters l-o-v-e sewn on it from a scrap of red taffeta. I remember thinking that fabric would have made a great retro prom dress. The other fabric used for the pillow was found on a bolt at the Salvation Army and has sparkling birds among its designs. It looks like it would upholster something--maybe a small chair. My friend said it would match her bedroom. I think it matched what was going on in her heart.
You're awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you
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