A blog intensifying the flavor of life and toasting those who share in the feast, rather than settling for a dry, plain, melba toast existence.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

run amok

To run amok is to behave in a wild or unruly manner, and I am not one to fit that description. Though I may seem completely normal, at least for me, my mind has been on overload lately trying to come up with new items for my next arts and crafts show. It isn't that I don't have any ideas. It is that I don't have the time to create them all!

What happens is that I conceptualize a project and then start to run through it step by step in my head. I eventually gather supplies and begin. I soon find that what I thought would work, doesn't. What I imagined would be easy, isn't. And my self-imposed deadlines are extended again and again. I find myself thinking about my art when I'm supposed to be doing other things. I become distracted as my mind keeps wanting to take up where it left off in the creative process. I wake up thinking about what I can do differently today. I bide my time, trying to engage in meaningful conversations as if I have nothing else on my mind, and go about my business pretending that all is well, but all the while my mind is trying to solve the issues that present themselves in this project I want to create.

I've always been a daydreamer, doodling on my paper in school when I was supposed to be learning math; looking out the window at the trees when I was supposed to be listening to a lecture. I've been accused of doing nothing while staring out the window. I may appear to be half asleep but it is at times like these when I am most awake! Most of my writing is done in my head before I ever sit down to write. My projects are like that as well, forming themselves in my thoughts before ever manifesting themselves in real materials.

I then get the chance to work on my project and I fail. I try something different and it too falls short. I know that I need to stop for today. I also know that as soon as I walk out of this room that I will continue to think about what I can do to make it better. It isn't as though I'm working on a cure for cancer or solving world hunger. I'm not inventing something to better our human condition or even worrying about what is for dinner. I'm only trying to come up with something that may bring a little joy into someone's life when that person gives or receives this thing that I've been inspired to create. I would like to think that it will make someone's day a bit brighter. And that is enough for me.



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